naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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