I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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