belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
BRING THE BAGELS
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
