you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize