Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
