I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
