I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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