What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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