It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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