and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
