wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
