Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize