I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
from now on my penis is your penis
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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