I'm gonna have a badass scar
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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