I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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