The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
