um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
