why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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