Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
