Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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