Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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