I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
