he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
