He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
