YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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