the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize