Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize