Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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