The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
