so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
