well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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