dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
