They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
