matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
