I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize