And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
birth control should be required to get into college
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
