I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
