there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
