We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he wants to bone in the snuggie
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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