Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
