I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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