haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
