if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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