So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Randomize
