I have demons in me.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
