when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
