If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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