i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
