I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
