fuck your aforementioned shoe
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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