He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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