If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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