she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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