Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize