he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize