I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
