also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize