it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
