and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
