I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
