OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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