Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
