there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
