You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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