I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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