Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
