Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
