But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
