Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
