also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
