if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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