we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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