dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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