i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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