rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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